CoastBoxOffice is now on Mastodon. Why? Why not.
Oh, you're still using Facebook and Instagram? How quaint. If you're looking for a real social network, look no further than Mastodon - the ultimate hipster haven.
First of all, Mastodon is so obscure that no one you know is on it. That's right, you get to enjoy the smug satisfaction of being ahead of the curve and discovering the latest social media craze before it becomes mainstream.
But that's not all - Mastodon is decentralized, which means you get to be a part of a trendy, exclusive community that's not controlled by any big corporation or government. It's like a secret club, but instead of secret handshakes, you use cryptic jargon and hashtags.
Oh, and forget about being bombarded with targeted ads and having your data harvested for profit. Mastodon is so niche that no advertiser in their right mind would waste their time trying to sell you stuff. And since the network is community-owned and operated, you can trust that your personal information is in the hands of a ragtag group of volunteers who may or may not have any idea what they're doing.
But wait, there's more! Mastodon is all about free speech and open discourse. You can share your opinions on any topic, no matter how controversial or ridiculous, without fear of being censored or shamed. And if anyone does try to silence you, the Mastodon community will have your back - as long as you're using the right pronouns and adhering to their strict social justice guidelines.
And let's not forget the best part: Mastodon is so customizable that you can create your own little corner of the internet where you can be the ruler of your own fiefdom. Want to ban all discussion of pineapple on pizza? Go ahead, it's your instance. Want to create a safe space for people who love to collect vintage staplers? Knock yourself out.
So there you have it, folks. If you want to be part of an exclusive, decentralized community where you can express yourself freely and create your own little digital utopia, Mastodon is the social network for you. Just don't tell too many people about it, or it might lose its cool factor.
Coast Box Office | Thursday, 16 March 2023
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